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Author: Bryan "DMX" Prittie
Title: big-floppy-donkey-d-ck-men-falls-wi
Date Published: 2000-09-09
[pre-tourny sh!t, scroll down for games]
excuse the title....it's an inside joke with a friend of mine. so where to begin? well i really didn't playtest that much. i had made a bhbm deck for dark a while ago, like right after GenCon. ironically, it was very similar to Yannick's, but after i looked at his i made a few more minor adjustments. so that was running pretty strong, and it was undefeated for a few weeks [it still is] of playtesting and then i wanted something new, so 2 nights before the tourny, i build a hdadtj dueler. it's good, but i don't feel as confident with it. my light was just a big pile of cards i called a "deck." well, actually, i made a whole bunch of @#$%: mwhyl test 1 beatdown, HB, and throne room mains, but the night before i got a change of mind and decided that an aker's style EBO would be a nice change. so the night before i build it, like stimmed jim's EBO, with a few card changes. i looked at his deck before i made it, but didn't print or look at the cardlist while i made it. i like the idea of the Super-Falcon so i went with that. i only had 1 baragwin and 1 ishi tib, but my friend ty was SUPPOSED to hook me up. well on friday night i drove with some friends to our high school football game, but that sucked so i said we should bail and go swimming at my friend's girlfriends place. that was fun, me and my friend and 1 other guy with like 10 chicks in bikinis, i liked that. one hot one [chick] was totally all over me, and actually i got a date with her next weekend. sweet, eh? well i get home at like 11:30pm, finish building my LS deck, and i'm done [i go to bed]. on saturday i wake up at like 8am, hit the snooze.....8:15am, hit the snooze....finally at around 8:30am, i pull my ass outta bed, get dress, and go downstairs. i ask my mom which car i should drive, she says i can take dad's, which is a 99' Chrysler Cirrus and i love driving it cuz it has a 6 disc changer, it's fvckin fast, and it has sweet leather interior. so i call ty at 8:40, and tell em' we're leavin soon. call my 'deck buddy' tom, and he's ready, so he comes over, and we drive to get fabian [ty's last name, we call him by that]. we get em', and get to the store with pleny of time to spare. ty tells me he's got no ishi tibs, so i buy a total of 3 packs, ty buys me 4 of JP, the gay set, and get 1 goddamn ishi tib and 1 baragwin. ty gives me another baragwin, and 2 tunnel visions and i'm set. i wanted to playtest my LS deck out against his endor ops, but time didn't permit.
[decks]
LS: EBO, Stimmed Jim style. My own version, but with the deck basis around the Falcon. Aker's version with Ishi Tibs and Baragwins. Start Signal and ANSB.
DS: BHBM. My style, but similar to all the rest, mainly Yannick's. Mob Points, IAO, and OP start.
DS DECK:
starting:8
BHBM
throne room
insignifiant rebellion
your destiny
prepared defenses
oppresive efforcement
IAO
mobilization points
locations:4
rendili
<>db
d*2:db
endor:db
characters:14
emperor
darth vader x3
lord vader
sim aloo
janus
mara
comm. igar
evax
cabel
ds-61-2
sarkli
ig88 w stick
bubo
blue:9
dominator
bossk in boat
suckass in boat
the new executor
dreadnut x3
tempest 1
blizzard 2
green:2
mara stick
vader's stick (premiere)
red:23
emperor's power
search & destroy
trample
hell 2 pay x2
alter x3
monnok
masterful move x3
twi'lek x2
projective telepathy
rise my friend x2
first strike
imperial barrier x3
lateral damage
come here you big coward!
LS DECK:
Locations:
Hoth: Main Power Generators
Hoth: 4th marker
Hoth: Echo DB
Echo: Corridor
Echo: War room
Hoth
Kessel (didn't have a Kiffex)
Forest [great idea Jim]
Characters: (13)
Capt. Han x2
EPP Leia x2
EPP Luke
Luke Skywalker
EPP Obi
Obi Wan Kenobi
Melas
Baragwin x2
Ishi Tib x2
Reds: (26)
WYTTPOU
Menace Fades
Effective Repairs
Honor of the Jedi
Windchime x3
On The Edge x2
Wise Advice
Order to Engage
Legendary Starfighter
The Signal x2 (start)
Punch It x2
Squadron Assignments
I Know
Mantellian Savrip
EBO
Fury
ANSB (start)
A Few Manuevers x2
Tunnel Vision x2
Ships: (5)
Falcon x2
R2inR5
Spiral
RLinR1
Greens: (7)
Ewok Catapult
Bionic Hand x2
Intruder Missle
X-wing Cannon x3
Admiral's Orders: (1)
I'll Take the Leader
I KNOW IT JUST LOOKS LIKE A COPIED AND PASTED THE DECKS.....WELL I DID, WHY SPEND MORE TIME TYPING WHEN IT'S ALREADY DONE? I MADE THE CHANGES I MADE TO EACH DECK AND THAT'S THAT. I DID NOT LOOK AT THE CARDLIST AND MAKE THE DECK CARD FOR CARD, ALTOUGH IT MAY APPEAR THAT WAY...YES, EVEN I WOULD THINK NOT...BUT IT'S TRUE. EVEN TOM AND TY CAN VERIFY CUZ I MAKE DECKS IN MY ROOM [JUST SOMETHING ABOUT IT THAT WHEN I MAKE EM', IT'S GOTTA BE IN THERE] AND MY COMPUTER IS DOWNSTAIRS [MY ROOM ISN'T] AND MY PRINTER IS BROKEN. THANX.
[tourny games]
my rating was 1743, sadly enough, i was the highest rated player there. treport happens now......damn...i mean NOW.....@#$%, ok....i'm serious....treport happens NOW (just joshin).
Game 1
My BHBM vs. Ty 'Captain T' Fabian Profit Beatdown
well lately ty and i have been close to splitting games. he beats me every now and then, but 85% of the time i can take em'. i know that i will win, i'm not a @#$% or anything, but bhbm takes profit to lunch. i start the traditional start: bhbm, throne room, iao, insignificant rebellion, your destiny, mobilization points, oppressive enforcement and prepared defenses. he starts: profit, han solo, tat: jp, jp: ac, heading for the medical frigate, insurrection, wise advice, and i believe menace fades. he goes first and draws. i go, i got a godlike hand, pull rendili before i activate, activate, pull palpy from deck, deploy him to the <>db on tatooine (which i pulled from deck) and let him go. he goes, gets out tat:db, and draws. my turn, fetch another db (endor) and let him go. he goes, and deploys massa luke to get han, flips and makes a HUGE mistake that definitely cost him the game, he upgraded han solo to epp han, 1 han down, 1 left. my turn, activate, lord vader + stick comes to the ac, grab luke, battle han. swing...hit, destiny = 6 (and i retrieve 1 with first strike). so he loses han + some. that's game. i get back to the ds2:throne room later, and i sit and duel and make him lose 3 a turn. mara comes down to battle orrimaarko + obi-wan and wins. 3 2/2 scrubs take on ben kenobi + kal fal'cndros and win. sad....sad.....sad. he couldn't drain on tatooine, and had to come to me. so i battled, retrieved, and he never saved force to play fallen portal at the dbays with first strike out. i crossed luke when i tracked 2 1s to the top to lose the first duel, then i drew a 2 with 6 cards on insignificant rebellion...nuff said.
game: fw+28
total: 2(+28)
the good: raping profit like an asian schoolgirl [gross , i know]
the bad: killin' a friend who predicted he would take 2nd.
the ugly: 3 2/2 scrubs killing ben. that's sad.
so i buy a Local Uprising for the endor mains i was workin' on. finally....
Game 2
my UNTESTED EBO vs. tom '£§¥¼' schultz ROPs
well tom and i are 'professional' deck builders together. we make and design great decks. well, this was a total net deck he was playin', same with mine, but we don't look at cardlists to make our decks, like some people....FABIAN (j/k). I was weary of this game cuz my EBO was untested, but things went quite nicely. first turn, godlike hand, i'm predicting 'flip' or ebo up & running by turn 3-4. he goes, gets a db, gets a ralltiir site, gets wakeelmui, and draws. i go, get hoth: war room before i activate and hoth: echo corridor, and activate. activate, deploy that sutff, tunnel vision, grab nar shadda wind chimes, fetch and ishi tib from deck, hold it and draw. he goes, another ralltiir site. well the game gets dull from here....so i'll skip ahead and finish it out. he flips like 3rd-4th turn. i get ebo out 4th turn with the super-falcon at hoth, and move it over to ralltiir. my hand just gets better and better with ishi tibs and i retrieve hella force with baragwins and on the edge. he decides to grow balls and battles my falcon, bad move.....i know...punch it...7 destiny totalling up to 29, so my power was 36. he lost everything and then some. i then spread out to kessel and he was permanently flipped back (he never flipped back, but he could've). i drains for like 3-4 a turn, but i get it all back with baragwins and on the edge. what was bad was a few nights ago, i played TIGIH against him and he had no sandwhirl, so i thought the desert was safe....um...i'm a dumbass.....put epp luke down to flip em' back, next turn (at desert) sandwhirl. fvck! but it's alright.......my drains and massive retrieval do him in for the win.
game: fw+24
total: 4(+52)
the good: winning, draining for 8 a turn.
the bad: luke getting sandwhirled.
the ugly: 7 destiny = 29, wholy sh!t
so ty lost....again cuz vader got crossed against a TIGIH,hehe)
Game 3
My BHBM vs. Wayne Barczynski TIGIH
i'm a happy man. 16 year old....man. well, he starts i feel the conflict, menace fades, wise advice, squadron assignments, jedi luke, tigih, endor:db, endor:cheif c's hut. i start the usual. first turn, fish for rendili. activate, dig for palpy...get him to the endor db. he goes, and activates less than planned cuz of me, hehe. moves luke over. my turn, activate, drain, fetch a db, and deploy lord vader to grab luke...and flip. so in the grand scheme of things, i get palpy and vader over to the throne room and start dueling. he wins a few...i win a few. i'm draining with 2/2 imps, walkers, and mara. he's in space, but he lost both of his Cpt. Hans early on to drains. Falcon = no good. Home one comes out, but bossk in bus + a dreadnaught make short work of it. he has 3 cards stacked, tries to cross vader, draws a 7, and says that's game...but wait....i extend him palpy and tell him he missed, palpy subtracts 3, and he is mad. i drain him out next turn.
game: fw+19
total: 6(+71)
the good: winning, not getting vader crossed.
the bad: almost getting vader crossed.
the ugly: he lossed both Cpt. Hans and 2 Falcons to drains by like turn 6, sick.
Game 4
my EBO vs. Wes Soehrmann BHBM
he starts throne room, bhbm, crush the rebellion, oppressive enforcement, prepared defenses, your destiny, insignificant rebellion, and i think iao. This was a good game...mainly cuz things went my way. i'll be brief, cuz it wasn't too eventful. he gets lord vader out 2nd turn to a 2/1 endor site. he gets his stick on him too. i get ebo set-up 3rd turn, epp luke to the north ridge, and start draining. 5th turn, he loses palpy off top of deck (he forgot to get him from reserve). ishi tibs and baragwins won the game for me. they helped me track and retrieve and draining for 8 a turn at kessel + hoth was too much for him. losing palpy was great. i asked if he had another and he wouldn't reply...after the game he told me.
game: fw+21
total: 8(+92)
Game 5
my BHBM vs. tom £§¥¼ schultz HBX + New Falcon
tom was the @#$% today. his best tourny ever. but more on that later. he starts: hb, rendezvous point, hb indicator, strike planning, squadron assignments, insurrection. i go, get rendili, activate, fetch ds2:db and put palpy there and i'm done. he goes, before he activates, takes general calrissian into hand (using Strike Planning) and activates. reveals general calrissian to pull gold squadron 1, gets out endor and it, and deploys them to the rendezvous point and moves over for free. i go, get out endor: db, lord vader + stick, and draw. he goes, deploys kashyyyk, kessel (from deck) and draws. i go, drain, drop mara + saber at <>db on tatooine and let him go (he lost to your destiny too). well, the game was dull from here on out, so i'll get to the good @#$%. he deploys a bunch of X-wings and flips. but i probe kessel correctly right away. i killed his falcon with a dreadnaught and zuckuss (lat. damage + an extra destiny from emperor's power). he gets a few small drains in, nothing too major, and all wings report in gets lost to a drain off the top. i drain/s&d, duel damage him out. and last turn i dueled him and crossed luke.
game: fw+11
total: 10(+103)
the good: winning
the bad: playing tom again
the ugly: he said i was the first person to take on his falcon all day long
Game 6 - final game
my EBO vs. Ryan Sutilla 'Stormtroopers kick ass' on Bespin
very uneventful. he's kinda weird. he only played one location the whole game, a CC exterior site that is 2/1 (i think the west gallery). so he deploys all his *stormtroopers* there and drains for an unchallenged 1 the whole game, cuz i'll just lose a weapon/device and get it back with a baragwin. i drain 8 a turn after rollin' the executor into a FAT JOINT and smokin' it silly. just for fun, EPP Obi came down to fight the troopers, drew a 6 in destiny and hit a trooper, all but 1 was left afterwards, but he played trooper assualt (he forfeited troopers too, what a klod). he was sayin' he was gonna spank me and all, but afterwards he admitted i smakced him around like a small sweedish girl.
game: fw+31
total: 12(+134)
the good: winning...what else?
the bad: sitting thru a dull game
the ugly: stormtroopers...nuff said
so i take it...the 5th time straight there (at the location). the TD scott karau is cool, and gave me 7 CC packs and i got all @#$%. i gave it all away excecpt for slave 1, it just looks cool. my decks were solid. i used the ratings calculator and i'll now be around 1805-1810 after they get updated. EBO is better than i thought. i got another jedi luke which is cool. bhbm is the @#$%.
[final standings]
1st - me (Bryan 'DMX' P)
2nd - Tom £§¥¼ Schultz
3rd - Wayne Barczynski
4th - Wes Soehrmann
5th - Ty 'Captain T' Fabian
6th --> under - sorry, forgot, i didn't take notes |
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