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Author: Andy "RexBanner7" Klema
Title: rexbanner7-goes-to-ramapo-con-iii
Date Published: 2001-06-20
I suppose this tale of laughter, competition, vengeance, a little more laughter, and possibly some insomnia thrown in there as well all began a month or so before Ramapo Con III when I was asking around to see if anyone wanted to stay in a room with me. My friend Cody Legolas DiCara decided to be a @#$% and not go to Ramapo, claiming bullshi.t like my parents would never let me and I dont have enough money. So, hes a dic.k. Jeremy JerUNH Oakes was planning on going down, but only for the Jedi Knights open on Sunday because he had a local tourney to run on Saturday. But as time ran down, Jeremy found a replacement to run his tourney, so I had a second member in my room. Unfortunately, no one else could be found. All the people I contacted from Mass or Connecticut (where I live) either werent going, or already had rooms. So I added onto a rumor on Decktech saying we had a spot in the room. Matt Phobos Berta from Las Vegas (Vegas baby!) responded saying he needed a place to stay. After some details were exchanged in e-mails, we were all set to go.
Jeremy and I met at a bus station in Waterbury, CT and drove down from there. Surprisingly enough, this was a short and easy ride when I thought it could take hours. Only an hour fourty-five. About 45 minutes into the ride, we stopped for gas. As I go into the little mini-mart looking for a bag of cheddar potato chips, we come across this one guy arguing with the man at the register over something fuc.kin.g retarded like Why couldnt you just tell me what the price was even though I already read the pump and knew what it was? The guy was a yuppie bitc.h, and kept trying to argue with the cashier even though the cashier was trying to end the argument. Finally the guy left, and Im next in line. My first words were That guy was a fuc.kin.g dic.k! That little comment got me a free pack of gum. As we were walking out, we see one of the attendants at the station trying to pump gas into a car whose fuel tank was on the opposite side of the car. I tried to control myself as we walked by. First days on the job are as rough as hell.
Anyway, we make it down to Ramapo without any trouble at all. It was surprising how Mapquest did not fuc.k somebody over for once. We go park according to the map we got from the website, and we try to find our way to the Student Center, which is where registration was. We get there, and we find out The Man, Scott Lingrell, is currently working out a housing problem, so we wait around and watch the warm up tourney. I see Steve Brentson playing, so naturally I decide to bother him since I wanna rub in the fact that Ive beat his janky Tatooine Celebration deck all but one time Ive played him. Of course he plays like a champ against everyone else though, and hands Chris Googolen his ass. We talk for a little while, and then Oakes and I sit down to test. Coming into the weekend, I had a beast QMC built for LS, but absolutely nothing for DS. I brought my trusty MKOS deck and a pretty good CCT deck, but I knew I wouldnt play either of them. I bust out the MKOS vs Oakess gay Sabaac numbers bullshi.t, and I get my @#$% kicked by like 20+. That blows. I just lost to a numbers deck, and I knew Id see more of them. Fuc.k. I play his BHBM 7s with my QMC, and beat on him. As a side note, that QMC deck went 6-0 in tourneys on the weekend, and only lost once in testing. Its a beast.
After a little while, Scott shows up. He almost doesnt recognize me because I have a beard now, but he recovers in time and gives me the stuff for the room. I will say this now, and probably a couple more times too; Scott Lingrell is my Star Wars God. No other man I know works as hard to promote the game as he does, and he deserves so much credit for what he did over the weekend. Scott, youre the man, and youre a damn cool guy too.
Now that Scott has received his own paragraph, me and Oakes head over to our room. One of the lights doesnt work and we have no linens, but its no biggie, we put our stuff down and go back to the student center to wait for Berta to get in. Apparently Mike Dalton was picking him up from Newark Airport, but we didnt find that out until he got back to Ramapo. Me and Oakes played a few more games, and then Berta showed up. This was really the first time I met Matt because I had only talked to him online about the room. Hes cool. We talk for a while, then we go back to our room with Scott so he can hook us up with some linens. After we receive our linens, Berta gets bitc.h bunk, Oakes gets lower bunk, and I get the separate bed because I am the master of calling things. I dont have my own car, and Im in high school (graduating in 8 days though), so I am very, VERY good at calling shotgun. That applies elsewhere as you can see. We play some games, and Berta hands my QMC its only loss of the weekend. Hes playing some weird HuntDown jank, and dont exactly remember how I lost. All I remember is he won by 9. Whatever. I build a somewhat high destiny BHBM deck, and decide to rely on Mob Points/IAO activation. That was my second biggest mistake of the weekend (first will come later). The deck plays very well if the activation goes according to plan, but I didnt have time to test against a deck that play Dont Do That Again. Whatever. We go to sleep somewhere around 4 am.
We wake up the next day at 10, which is a reasonable time. We decide that we will go register for the con, then go eat at IHOP (IHOP is king), and then turn in our decklists around 1, which is when they should be in. The first part of that plan does not turn out right. We end up registering at around 11:30, which is obviously much later than we wanted. Its alright though. We go out to eat at IHOP, which deserves its own paragraph.
What restaurant can beat IHOP? None. There is nothing that can beat IHOP. You can eat breakfast at 11pm if you want, its $4.50 for a huge stack of pancakes, some sausage, and some eggs, and theres always freaky waitresses around. IHOP is king.
Our waitress was mildly normal this time, so we just order our food and eat when it comes. As this is happening, Berta decides that hell write down the cards he needs to take out of his HuntDown deck to make it one of those dumb numbers/counter assault/podracing/dueling pieces of crap, and in doing so he spills water directly into his card box. So the three of us, geeks that we are, are toweling down Bertas HuntDown deck in the middle of IHOP. Whatever. We get back to the room at around 12:45 and start madly writing decklists. We end up taking them over to the Student Center at around 1:20, but they still take them. Were cool like that.
Along the way on our morning, we run into Steve Baroni and Johnny Rivera, two mad cool people from Mass. Inside, waiting for the tourney to start, we meet up with them, and the rest of the Mass crew. Cool people like Mike Gemme, Justin Desai, Brain Notgonnabotherbutcheringthespelling, Eric and Hayes Hunter, and Ross Litteur (I think I did bother butchering the spelling on that one). I also met Bastian Winkelhaus, who came down with Hayes. Hes mad cool, as many other people will tell you in their TRs. I didnt hang out with him as much as some of the Mass people did, but when I saw him, he was pretty damn cool. As we are all sitting around, we start playing Hardcore with the Young Jedi Demo Decks that they made you take when you registered. Hardcore, is the greatest game ever invented, and it deserves its own paragraph as well.
Many people dont know how Hardcore was started, are confused by who started it, or just dont know what it is. Allow me to enlighten. Hardcore was created by myself, Andy Klema, and Jeremy Oakes at Decipher Con 2000. As many of you who were there know, Day 1 dragged on forever. We were there until some ungodly hour, and unlike the Ramapo DPC, Day 1 was supposed to start early. As we were waiting between games, Oakes and I started throwing cards at each other, and from this, came Hardcore. The name Hardcore comes from the original form of the game. Down at D-Con, we used Star Trek cards. We called the game Hardcore Trek because it was the most dangerous use for Trek cards, and was by far the most extreme as well. The name was tounge in cheek, so dont ask if I like the XFL. But as we continued to play it, Trek cards were not always around. Weve used many different types of playing cards, Young Jedi being the game of choice at Ramapo, so we shortened the name to Hardcore. Hardcore is played thus; you and your opponent sit across from each other at a table. You take turns throwing cards across the table, trying to land them half on the table, half off the edge. If you have two cards hanging off the table at the same time, you win. If on one throw, you cause two or more cards to become hanging off the table when they were previously completely on the table, your opponent gets one chance to hit all of the cards hanging off the edge so that they are no longer off the edge. If there are two cards hanging off, he must push those two back. If five are hanging off, he must push all five back. If even one is left hanging off the edge, he loses. If on one turn, you cause one card to hang off the edge and on the next turn that card is still hanging off the edge as well as at least one more, your opponent loses. He doesnt get a chance to know them off. He only gets that one shot if both cards go over in the same turn. That is how Hardcore is played. At Ramapo, a couple of us were holding mini four person tourneys just for the hell of it. We concluded that play best 2 out of 3 was the way to go. The challenger is always the person who throws first. If there is no definite challenger, you play one hand of rocks/paper/scissors to see who goes first. Good old rock. Nothing beats rock. Steve Baroni and Cody DiCara should also be given credit for picking up on Hardcore very fast and helping to promote the game. Now, the game has gone global (yes, we taught Bastian), and I will create a huge hardcore bracket for D-Con. If youre in, d-mail me so I can put you down. The we figure, everyone puts in a buck and the winner takes the pot. The more people we get, the more money we make. I look forward to seeing you all there.
As the DPC starts, I see a couple more familiar faces including Joe Olsen (who lent me an Emperors Power, the cool bastard), the Twiggs, and Charlie Herren, Mike Kessling and the Atlanta crew in general. Before I get into the tourney, I just want to say that the DPC was really well run. We started almost exactly and two, and the regular tourney ended around 12. Thats pretty good for a tourney that size, and all the judges did a good job. Anyway, we begin:
Game 1: DS vs Charles Hickeys WYS Lock
Fuc.k. First game is against the broken deck. Course I didnt know that yet, but I soon found out. This game ended up being really ugly. I got Emperor + some other people down to the docking bay, but I could never find any of my four Vaders. He was choking me with A Tremor in the Force and Battle Plan as well. My ships suck, so I knew I wouldnt take the system. On top of all that, he had Jedi Luke draining in the Cantina all game, and I didnt have the Vader to pick him up. It was very ugly. Id like to say that if I actually drew a Vader, this would have been a very different game. I dont think I would have won still, but it would have been a lot closer than 31. Ugh.
FL by 31
0 (-31)
Highlights: I might play scrubs?
Lowlights: I dont really have to list them do I?
Well, that was really ugly. I go back and talk to everyone, and almost everyone lost. It was ugly. Kashyyyk honestly is a pretty good region, but we all sucked @#$% first game. Whatever. Wed make it back. I thought I would play a scrub, but instead I play...
Game 2: LS vs Pat Ziagoss Dark Surgeon
This is bad. Not only do I have to play the PA State Champ after losing by 31, but I have to play against Dark Surgeon as well. My QMC only activates 9 (!) force on its own, so Dark Surgeon is no good to play against. I started Battle Plan to stop early drains, and I took my time setting up. He flipped quickly (of course), but I was playing smart because I knew I would be able to set up and retrieve if I was patient. He sent the Emperor to some random CC site, so I was slowly getting pinged to death. I set up at the system, and then put Luke and Han at different CC sites to flip. Celebration came down, and I started abusing the Tunnel Vision every turn. My Luke died and came back so many times. His first beatdown failed because of Path. Eventually I got stupid, and he died to attrition and good play on Pats part. A Jedis Resilience brought him back into hand (props to Berta for making me play that). He came down again, and he survived for quite a while before he was killed again. Then I tunneled for my other one, and he came down. All this time, Im draining him, hes draining me, but Im flipped and he doesnt dare fuc.k with me at the system. Im retrieving lots with Celebration, but my Off the Edge goes off the top (hehe) early, so I cant get it back. Eventually, he kills my last Luke and moves Aurra in front of Han. This is the last turn because time is called. I activate leaving 3 destiny. I Tunnel hoping to find Obi. I find Chewbacca Protector, which is better. Deploy him, battle for free, pay to retrieve one, Pat loses one (First Strike). Shoot Aurra, draw a 4. Draw two destiny. 4 and 5. It was something like Aurra and 11. Time still is called because that doesnt quite run him out of cards, but I win with my 12 left.
MW by 12
1 (-19)
Highlights: One of the hardest games of Star Wars Ive ever played. Went down to the wire. That beat down on Aurra.
Lowlights: Cant think of any really. I suppose the Timed Win because now Im fuc.ke.d if I lose one more.
Now Im tired because that was a very hard game. But when I get back, everyone won. Thats cool, even though some played scrubs, but still. We move on. This is where the games get fuzzy. Im not even sure theyre in the right order. Whatever.
Game 3: LS vs Aaron Northrups AOBS that wasnt Dark Surgeon
I didnt want to play this game, but I quickly discovered that this wasnt Dark Surgeon, which made me very happy. As I said, I dont remember much about this game at all. I know that Luke stayed very much alive thanks to things like Path and Dodge. I also know that I held the system all game and kept retrieving with Celebration. We fought a little bit, but nothing special. I got Pucimir out and started moving him around so he wouldnt get killed. He didnt get killed, my drains were pretty sizable, Luke was on the table, and I was retrieving. We like to call that a lock.
FW by 15 (?)
3 (-4)
Highlights: Playing Aaron. He was a really cool guy. Getting the lock going, even without the Off the Edges (I think).
Lowlights: None really. Maybe the diff, but thats about it.
In between games, were playing Hardcore, and I keep beating Brian Twigg. He wants to beat me pretty badly too because he wants revenge for the tourney where I won his PS2. Dude, youre not going to get revenge by playing me at Hardcore. :) Try to improve that 0-1 lifetime record against me in Wars. (double :) ) Anyway, game 4 rolls around and I get stuck playing my boy Justin Desai.
Game 4: DS vs Justin Desais MWYHL Falcon stuff
Stupid MWYHL being a bad matcup. Especially this version. I got jizzed on in space because I only put in 3 ships. Thats why the DS sucks now. But whatever. I set up Search and Destroy, which is what made this game really close. He either starts or gets out Battle Plan, and that kinda screws me over. So I have to go up there so I can drain for free at my sites. This doesnt quite work out in my favor. A turn or two later Wedge comes down and kills some ship. I battle back but cant clear him out. Then the Falcon comes down and clears out my other ship(s). Down comes Legendary, which I was hoping he didnt have. Oh well. That lost me the game. Search and Destroy is hitting him, and I drain when I can. His drain at the system, Legendary, AFA, and my objective are all hitting me. Eventually I just dont have the force to continue draining, and I lose by 5.
FL by 5
3 (-9)
Highlights: Playing one of the mad coolest Star Wars players ever. Getting S&D set up very quickly.
Lowlights: Fuc.kin.g Legendary. Having to play my boy. Whatever.
So now Im fuc.ke.d because of the timed win. If that had been a full win, I would have had a chance, because I can pick my diff up if I try hard enough. Getting around 80 diff in 4 games is very possible with QMC. But whatever. So now I get to play my DS again as the rounds switch, which isnt good cuz the DS is jizz.
Game 5: DS vs Joe Youngs WYS
I dont remember much about this game except my tech move of the weekend. Janus and Emperor are sitting at the CC:DB, his smugglers are sitting at the Tatooine: DB. I deploy Maul to the Tatooine:DB making his ability 0, then move the Emperor and Janus over to the site. Tech. We get a ruling, but it goes in my favor. Joe wasnt being a dic.k about it, he just wanted to make sure it was right. And I have no problem with that whatsoever. He was a cool guy. I keep moving Maul around blocking his drains while Im draining for a lot the whole time. DS actually wins.
FW by 17(?)
5 (+8)
Highlights: That tech move. Joe being a really cool guy. Maul.
Lowlights: Not much really. DS actually won.
We play some more hardcore, and now people are actually watching us, wanting to know how to play. Its so cool. I win some more, but for some reason Gemme keeps beating me. Bastard. Its all good. Next game.
Game 6: LS vs Steve Brentsons ISB Space
Whee, the auto win! I love playing against Steve, but I dont love playing against Steve in big tourneys because we play against each other almost every weekend in CT. Im doing pretty good against him now, and I can honestly say that he taught me a lot about the game, although most of it was indirectly. The biggest thing was playing against good players with no fear. I saw people claiming losses as soon as they played good players (read Bastians TR), but I dont do that anymore. Anyway, enough sappy crap. We played. I beat on Merrejk and Piett with Jar-Jar and Luke, but he had a Ghhhk. But he couldnt get the systems out. I set up at the system huge and he never touched me. No one messes with Ten Numb with 2 Intruder Missiles. He puts an Undercover spy in front of Corran Horn. I look puzzled. He does too later when I break his cover. He still claims that lost him the game. I dont know about that, but it wasnt a good move. He moves him away and backs him up with Vader. The rest of the game is me retrieving and draining while finding various ways to kill his ISB Agents on CC. I killed that damn droid on two separate occasions. Once, Vader was Clashed and a ORS was taken down for around 7 cards. I got the lock going, and I won.
FW by 17
7 (+25)
Highlights: Beating a good player. Killing that droid twice. All the beats.
Lowlights: Playing Steve in a big tourney. His mistake.
Im doing well still, but I have to play DS one more time. I shouldnt have relied on Mob Points, and in the next game, I get screwed because of it.
Game 7: DS vs Alan Sagans Shimi Mess Mains
First of all, Alans really cool. I hung out with him a bit this weekend, and hes an awesome guy. Hes playing a deck thats really cool, that beat my ass. He saw my start, and he started Dont Do That Again. Hmm. Game. I activated 8 force the whole game. Once I actually got my characters out, I was causing some damaging. Maul at the Moisture Farm caused some damage, but eventually he went down. I had Alan down to 15 force, but he retrieved a little cuz I let him. He beat my ass, he deserved it.
FL by 23
7 (+2)
Highlights: Maul ripping shi.t up at the Farm. Alan being really cool.
Lowlights: Getting shut down. Playing the janky DS deck.
Well, DS sucks. Just so everyone knows. At least I get to play LS last game. And I get to play against some one cool from Atlanta.
Game 8: LS vs Clay Remmeys Court Scum
Clay is mad cool as well, and hes a friend of Mike and Charlie from Atlanta, so I got to hang out with him later. He was playing Scum, and I was playing QMC, and it was going to be a long game, so Ill keep it brief. I never lost the system, so I was always retrieving. I played the same Off the Edge 3 times for 4,5, and 6 respectively. I played the same A Jedis Resilience 4 times. That power to loop interrupts eventually caught up with Clay, and despite his retrieval, I won by 25.
FW by 25
9 (+27)
Highlights: Playing Clay. Looping those two interrupts. QMC going 4-0.
Lowlights: None I suppose.
Well, I went 5-3 and came in 23rd (?) place. If that wasnt a timed win it would have been more like 14th place, but oh well, I did pretty decent. Berta finished behind me, but I think he went 5-3 too. Oakes has dropped early because he had to run a different tourney, but he had a headache so he slept in the room. We met him just as we were leaving, and we went back to the room to test for a while. Berta went to sleep pretty early afterwards, but me and Oakes tested for a while before Oakes went to sleep. I hung around for quite a while. I played some random people, and shifted my DS from IAO/Mob Points to twixs and drains sites with lots of SAC. This brought the destiny down, but made it a really solid deck surprisingly enough. For LS, I decided to try out Sagans Shimi Mess Mains. Start the Slave Quarters and 3 effects. Pull Threepio w/ Parts Showing and put him at a docking bay with a scomp link. Then you play HDWGITM? to pull out all your shi.t. Its a good deck, but as I learned later, its not my playstyle. I bother Mike Kessling for a Crush the Rebellion at about 4 am. He gets it for me, and me, him, and Charlie playtest for a while. After a bit, Baroni comes in while me and Charlie are playing, calls next game, then promptly falls asleep in a chair. We finish playing around 6. I wake Baroni up and we all go to bed. But first I make decklists so I can sleep later in the morning. I go to bed around 6:30. Andres Notgonnabotherbutcheringyourname apparently crashed on our floor, which is fine, so I make my decklists around him. He looked hilarious when he slept though. He had one of those sleeping masks on with ear plugs in, and he had his hands folded over on his chest so it looked like he was in a coffin. It was damn funny at 6 am. Hes a really cool guy too, so it made it even funnier cuz we could bother him about it later.
I woke up around 9 next morning and had Oakes bring over my decks and my lists over, then I slept for another half hour until he came back. I get dressed, and we both go over there. Gemme tells me that the judges were calling me about my decklist, so I head in there. Rich Hamman tells me there was a problem with my list and asks me to check it. I check it. Then I check it again. Then Oakes checks it. Then Oakes checks it again. We find nothing. Tom ImsorryIdontrememberyourlastname checks it, and says there were two cards that were kinda stuck together. That might have been it. We say ok, and leave. Because of all of this, the Open didnt get started until way late. I understand what they were doing, and I think the heart was in the right place, but it just took way too long. There must be some better way to do it then spending 3 hours checking everyones decklist. Whatever.
So were out in the lobby playing Hardcore. And its not just us, its everyone. There are people who I know I didnt teach playing Hardcore. It was a lot like Fight Club. I shi.t you not. Hardcore games were springing up all over the place. Fuc.kers setting up franchises. So we teach Bastian, and hes all into it, which is cool. Then me and Gemme get the greatest idea in the world; well customize our decks. And the end of the weekend, Gemme had a 40 card deck with 33 Jar-Jars. I had an all Royal Guard deck. It was mad fuc.kin.g cool. Then we finally start.
Game 1: DS vs Jeremy Oakess Shimi Mess Mains
Bullshi.t. I play the person I travelled with. Picked randomly. Out of 100 odd people. That sucks. We play. We eliminate each others charactes. I Sense some stuff. I win a very close game by 7.
FW by 7
2 (+7)
Highlights: None
Lowlights: Everything.
Sorry about the complete lack of detail, but I didnt like this at all. Im trying to block it from my memory. It sucked. Next game.
Game 2: LS vs Ed Rebmans CCT
I know how to play against CCT because I played it for a while. So I start Dont Do That Again. Game. He activated 8 force the whole game. Qui-Gon and stick came to the Tatooine:DB early, and Goo Nee Tay came out first turn. That was rough. I set up in the Audience Chamber he pulled, and I was draining for 4. He set up with the Emperor and Janus, but I was doing more damage than him quicker. He brought Maul and Iggy after someone. I barried Maul so he didnt battle. Next turn deploy Obi. Barrier. Hehe. Chewie, Han, Leia. Maul, Iggy, and quite a bit. His last gasp was deploying Aurra against Qui Gon, but I barriered. Deployed someone else my turn, Weapon Levitation used, then battled. That ended the game.
FW by ?
4 (+?)
Highlights: Complete control. That beatdown.
Lowlights: None pretty much.
From now on I wont keep a running tally because I dont remember the diff I had. Now I get to play a rematch from the DPC. My BHBM against Alan Sagans Shimi stuff.
Game 3: DS vs Alan Sagans Shimi Mess Mains
I will only tell you about the important part of this game. It is a close game. We are draining almost even, and it is getting down to the wire. I have Emperor and EPP Fett at the Hoth: Defensive Perimeter. He has Qui Gon and Chewie at the Hoth: DB. He moves them over. During my activation phase, I play Force Lightening used on Qui-Gon. My first action during my control phase it to Sniper Qui-Gon. Draw a 1. Fuc.k! Wait a minute. Force Lightening give -4. You Cannot Hide Forever give -1. So hes a 2 defensive value. EPP Fett adds 1 to my 1...and the sites gametext adds 1. Whoohoo! I drew a 3 so Qui Gons gone. I drop down Iggy, battle and kill Chewie with much overflow. So I win by drawing a 1 when I tried to hit Qui-Gon. I am the king.
Highlights: Playing Alan again and getting revenge. Hes so cool. He was as excited as I was about hitting Qui-Gon with a 1.
Lowlights: Not really that much I suppose.
Whee, tough game. Now Im 3-0, and I have to play Ross from Mass.
Game 4: LS vs Ross Litteurs Emergency Deployment space
Fuc.k and hell. My LS plays no space. I rely on I Hope Shes Alright, Saber drains, and Demotion for Chiraneu. I knew I had one chance in this game; get out both my battlegrounds early, set up I Hope Shes Alright, and just speed drain. He deploys first turn to Kashyyyk, I set up all my stuff that I always do. I have a Mess in hand, and some good characters as well. He drains for two. Something, and City Outskirts. Game. That was my other battleground for IHSA. Im fuc.ked. I try something last ditch. Deploy Jedi Luke and attempt an On the Edge. I have high destiny in the deck, and the Outskirts is the top card on my lost pile. Say a 1. Draw...a 1. Game x2. Whatever. Ross played well, dont get me wrong, but this was a bad matchup and some bad luck. I played a game similar to this just last Saturday, and I lost by 4. But he was podracing and won with Wattos Box out. Ross wasnt doing that. A better draw and I might have won. Oh well. Loss by 20 something.
Highlights: Ross. Hes a really cool kid, and he did well. Started 5-0 beating Steven Lewis! Hes cool.
Lowlights: All my bad luck. Oh well.
So now Im 3-1 and Im playing DS. This is where my biggest mistake of the weekend happens, and Im an idiot because of it.
Game 5: DS vs someones (sorry about the name) WYS
Well shi.t. All my SAC and twixs are useless. I knew this was a bad matchup, but oh well. Thats the risk you take. Anyway, I still should have won this game. Vader goes with his saber to the Cantina early. Emperor and Janus go to the docking bay. Thats good. He sets up at Kessel with Melas and Captain Han. Awesome. Now, if you do the math properly, WYS has two ability 4 characters. One is Melas, who is currently in space. The other is Luke, and Im playing BHBM. All I have to do is capture Luke, and Maul will wreak havoc. He wont occupy a battleground site, hell have to pay for Battle Plan, and Ill win because of Search and Destroy. So what do I do with Vader? Sit him in the Cantina. That parts fine. I have Endor sites and a Hoth site out. He has Insurrection. So what do I do when he drains? Throw away my Elis. Game. Luke goes down to Endor and Vader cant capture him. What was I thinking? All I needed was to hold the Elis and go get Luke. But Im an idiot and I lost because of it. I would have been 4-1 with pretty good diff. But Im a moron. Fuc.k me.
Highlights: Doing everything to win except the Elis.
Lowlights: The Elis.
Well, I start playing like an idiot now. I dont have a shot anymore, so I just play dumb @#$%. The LS lost to someone game 6, then it lost to someone else (Josh Paternini?) game 7 cuz Im playing on 2.5 hours of sleep and I dont give a fuc.k anymore. The DS wins its last game against TIGIH Scouts, so I enjoy a 3-1 DS, which not many other people had. Of course I also had a 1-3 LS which Im sure no one else had. But whatever. It was a lot of fun.
Hayes and My Star Wars God play in the final duel with Hayes winning by 29, then Scott winning by 15. So Hayes wins the Open, which is cool, although no offense to Hayes, I wish it was Scott cuz hes the man. Then the raffle for cool foils and some DVDs is held, and I buy two tickets and lose. Bastian wins like 10 fuc.king things cuz hes holding him and Hayess tickets. Bastian running is one of the funniest things I think I have ever seen. He is just too cool.
After the raffle is done, Berta, Desai, Gemme, Baroni, Oakes, Johnny Rivera, and I all walk back to the dorms. When were just outside the rooms I hear a lot of laughing behind me and someone running. I turn around and Gemme lands right on top of me. Hes fuc.king dry-humping saying stuff like I AM your father. It would have been a lot funnier if it wasnt me he was humping, but I still cant help but laugh. After he actually lets me up, I catch up to Berta and Desai who are talking about creating a Porn CCG. I told them they should have a Stunt @#$% card, and that was my contribution. They thought of a lot of funny shi.t, and they better make the game. After we all put our @#$% away, everyone I mentioned above except Baroni (cuz hes playing in the team tourney) go out to the Mason Jar to eat and drink, ixnay on the latter if youre underaged like me, Desai and Gemme
So we get to this tavern, and they make us sit at seperate tables (over 21 and under 21), or they wont let the over 21s drink. I understand, but it still sucked. So Gemme gets the bright idea to pretend that he is Bastian to see if theyll let him drink. So when the waitress asks for ID and everything, he starts talking in a German accent, which is hilarious to all of us who are blowing his cover by laughing so hard. Still, shes falling for it even though she wont let him drink, and its funny as hell. So were ordering food and he changes back to his Mass accent right in the middle of it...and she doesnt bat an eye. It was rediculous! She wasnt phased at all. Were all stunned, but its still really funny. As were to leave, Berta gets the bright idea of playing 4 songs on the jukebox and orders another drink. So we wait around for him, then take off. Im the smallest, and I dont care, so I sit in the trunk again. Its that or squish in with the other guys in the backseat, so trunk it is. We get back and play some pickup games. Watch the team tourney a little, and thats about it. I end up going to bed around 4 with nothing to do in the morning.
I wake up around 12 when Oakes comes back into the room, so we go out to IHOP. We eat the IHOP food because IHOP is king, and theres a really hot blonde chick who keeps looking at me. So when she looks, I flash her the smile, and she smiles back and keeps looking at me. Unfortunately, shes sitting with her mom. Now, Im not at all against going and hitting on random chicks, but something inside me wont let me do it in front of a parent. It just doesnt seem right. So when she doesnt see my gesture to come over to our table, we say fuc.k it and leave. It was a shame too because she was really hot and I would have followed Gemmes Jedi Testing just to be a dic.k.
We get back and Baroni meets us to say theres a tourney for a box of Tatooine. I rebuild the QMC and get over there. We show up in time, and we start. Unfortunately, its non sanctioned. These games will be quick, so dont hate me. Im on my 11th page here.
Game 1: QMC vs David Irvines ROPs Beast
Whatever. I set up so he wont mess with me in space, then on the ground. He draining me, but Im retrieving it all because all he has are walkers. Im draining by putting aliens at CC sites, so Im getting my damage through. He has Decree in effect, so I cant get off Pucimir drains. Then he puts the combo on Corran up at the system and puts Zuckuss in front of them. Bastard. His damage is actually getting through now. I track a 3 and try to Off the Edge Corran, but he has to be at a CC site. So I Mess Zuckuss with the X-Wing Cannon. He grabs the Mess, then puts up the Emperors Shuttle at Bespin. Bastard. The damage keeps coming, but so does mine, and I win by 8.
Highlights: Beating David Irvine. Messing Zuckuss.
Lowlights: Non sanctioned. Emperors Shuttle.
Game 2: DS vs someones (sorry about the name) HB Mains
Game is over in three turns. He puts down Luke and Padme against Emperor and Janus. Misses Janus and draws low. I dont draw. Next turn comes Vader with Saber to pick up Luke and Tarkin. He tries to On the Edge Padme, and does a double take. I say you cant do that because shes not a Rebel. He says I know, I thought it was Wedge. I say Im sorry. Hes says I am too. That took him down to 10 cards. It was over shortly there after. Win by 20 something.
Highlights: Winning easily.
Lowlights: Winning only because he put down the wrong character. That sucked.
Game 3: LS vs Joe Gigliardis HuntDown Dueling
He does a LOT of damage to me early and I thought I was going to lose. But then I get all set up at the system with Battle Plan and Menace Fades. Lock down. He brings down Vader in front of Luke, but I Path way the hell away. He cant do anything, and Im retrieving. He picks up Vader and keeps looking to put him down against Luke. Whenever he checks his destiny though its a 6 and 1, 7 and a 1, shi.t like that. So eventually he throws away all his dueling stuff. Once he does that I show him the Jedi Escape I had in my hand to tell him it didnt matter anyway. He agrees. He was a pretty cool guy. Win by the teens.
Highlights: The Lock. Playing someone cool.
Lowlights: So much damage early.
Game 4: DS vs Marty Twigg
Cool. I get to play a Twigg. Unfortunately, Im an idiot or I would have won. I win all the SAC wars and I have good drains going early. But I never back up Vader, and I dont have another one in my hand. He comes down against Vader and I lose 7 instead of Vader. That happened twice. When I Weapon Levitated back my saber once, I forgot to You Are Beaten Tawss, which would have caused a lot of overflow on Chewie. So basically I played like an idiot and lost by 5.
Highlights: Play Mr. Twigg. Hes a cool guy. Winning all the SAC wars.
Lowlights: Playing stupid and costing myself a box of Tatooine. Whatever.
Joe Olsen goes 4-0 and wins the box. I dont know if my diff would have beat his, but it would have been close. Whatever. It was mad fun. I go back to the dorm and bull@#$% around with Johnny and Baroni cuz Im waiting for Oakes to finish running the Jedi Knights tourney so we can go home. That tourney doesnt end until 1 am with the final confrontation. So we play a lot. We screw around with the Twiggs and all the cool Northwestern people. Me and Chris Twigg have Salsa duels, and I keep getting my Tostitos placed out of play. Andres beats my @#$% with his HB Revolver. I beat some people with my QMC. We swear on camera while Mr. Twigg is trying to tape the Jedi Knights final. A good time was had by all. Eventually, Jedi Knights ends and we pack it up and leave, saying good bye to everyone first. We take Berta down to the Newark Airport, and get hopelessly lost in the roads leading to the airport. We must of been there for half an hour. It fuc.king blew. After we finally reach the terminal and say bye to Berta, we start the drive up to CT. We stop around 4 am at a Mobil, and I get this huge @#$% 64 gallon cup, no, jug of Dr. Pepper. That shi.t saved my ass. We get to my house around 5:30 am, and I stay up because I have to take my English exam. I go take that, get a fuc.king 92 on no sleep, go home, and pass out until 6 pm. It was so fun. Thus ends my Ramapo adventure. Now, the time-honoured tradition of props and slops.
Maddest Possible Props:
Scott Lingrell- I told you youd get your own section. You are my Star Wars God. Whatever you do, hold a Ramapo IV. Make it only Star Wars, get help from Decipher, charge more money, whatever it takes. I had more fun there than anywhere else, and I, and everyone else, owe it all to you. Youre the man.
Regular Props:
Jeremy Oakes for driving my @#$% everywhere, beating me with numbers/sabaac jank, and being one of the coolest SW:CCG players I know.
Justin Desai for also being my boy and mad-fuc.king cool. Make the Porn CCG. Ill help you. And well definitely make that Two Cool Guys movie. We should room together at D-Con.
Mike Gemme for carrying on the tradition of hardcore. You are also my hero. Your fake German is pretty good too. Also should room with you at D-Con. Let us make it so. Make sure Yannick reads your other TRs too.
Steve Baroni for being cool and giving me soup in a cup. That shi.ts good. Ill make it up to Mass so I can stare at your moms @#$% like Desai.
Johnny Vegas for being the goddamn man. You are my other Star Wars God. When I go up to Mass, Ill let you know. Go to D-Con. Itll be mad cool. Later dude.
Matt Berta for being a really cool roommate and a really cool guy. Thanks for the shades dude. Make it down to D-Con. I hope Ill see you there.
The Twiggs because they wish they could be as good as me at Hardcore. Brian for not playing me when we had the same diff, Chris for winning the Salsa duels, and Mr. Twigg for beating me. I know Ill see you guys around soon.
Alan Sagan for being just a really cool guy and for letting me rip off your LS deck. Its hot dude. Talk to me on Decktech sometime, or AIM or whatever.
Joe Olsen for winning that box, lending me the Emperors Power, and being mad cool. Oh, and for promoting Hardcore. I know youre in on the huge tourney.
Charles Hickey for beating my @#$% and being cool. Seriously, youre cool.
Bastian for being German and very very cool. Doooode.
Andres and David Irvine for being really cool and for crashing on our floor. Its all good. See you guys around for sure.
Mike Kessling for the Crush (which I should probably give back :) ) and for talking tech with me. Also for not playing me in the tourneys like at D-Con. That sucked. Talk to you online.
Charlie Herren and Clay Remmey for being cool people from Atlanta. Ill see you when I see Mike. At least I hope so.
Hayes Hunter for winning, for being cool, and for being tall. Same for Eric except the winning part. :)
Ross for being so good for a scrub. :) Ill see you in Mass.
Steve Brentson for being Steve Brentson. There is no other.
Anyone who played Hardcore. Be down in D-Con for the huge rumble.
Anyone else who I forgot. Im sorry if I did, but a lot happened.
Slops:
Cody for being a @#$% and not coming. Wait, that doest sound right.
The late start on the Open. I understand, but I dont understand, you know what I mean? There has to be a better way.
Anyone who was throwing cards and didnt pick them up. Thats just being a dic.k.
Thats all. Thanks for listening, and Im out. |
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